The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was just competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! Free Hook Ups near Ascot Vale Australia. lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I guess I'm one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my style, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently act exactly the same way, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some older women bring the opposite sex. Sadly, many people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. Free Hook Ups Near Me Yarraville Victoria. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them really state what they offer a guy. Normally, itis a list of demands and preferences. This really isn't great marketing. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he desires?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Kathleen, I am an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. Free hook ups nearest VIC. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they don't answer. Just do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online sites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. Free Hook Ups Near Me Caroline Springs Victoria. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not seem impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes. Free hook ups nearest Ascot Vale.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Now, that is absolutely fine - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Free hook ups nearest Ascot Vale Victoria. The thing is, there really is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Free Hook Ups near me Ascot Vale. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must manage way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only serve to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.